chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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