If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
