i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
