The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
