weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
