I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
