he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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