That's intense
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
