6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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