are you still at the devil's house?
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
