I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
