Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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