Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
