dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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