okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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