LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
