Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize
