I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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