I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
