if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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