That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
