It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
