Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
