yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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