so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
