That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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