If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
