Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
