i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
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