Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
