DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
