I puked a lego.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize