just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
