so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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