I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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