i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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