You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize