just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
