I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
