My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
