so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize