id be glad to
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
