those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
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I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
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I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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