The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize