dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
