all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
