im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize