i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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