i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
