New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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