It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
