got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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