Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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