So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
What a dumb baby whore.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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