And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
