Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
