I love black thongs
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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