Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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