it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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